Dig Harder, It Might Help ;-)


cant-believe-this

You Are a Single Mum and WHAT?

The number of Single Mums is increasing. Yet, we are still looked at as if we were a species of ET. Well, sorry to disappoint those who think so, but we are not, we are just Wonder Women. Yes, we are!

I could hear lots of times ‘Oh, I couldn’t manage everything by myself. I don’t know how you do it…’ oh, yeah, you could darling, trust us! Better to be by yourself instead of having an eternal helpless big child to attend, ask permission for things you want to do, or you risk seeing him become temperamental. Plus, not being able to send him to his room until he behaves is VERY frustrating!

I also heard ‘You don’t let a man to be a man, this is why you are by yourself’ No, really??? You are so sweet to care about me! What do you exactly know about the topic? Let’s develop then. Oh, you have no idea? Therefore we cannot talk about it… And what if that man you have next to you is unable to act as a man and a father? What if he left you surreptitiously become both mum and dad at the same time, because he is not adult enough or just because it’s much easier this way? Well, yes, if you got him on ‘AdoptaGuy.com’ you are pretty ready to treat him like a child, but this is your own business, not ours.

Another startling statement I heard was ‘You don’t have a great salary, why don’t you meet a nice guy?’ Are you serious, bro’?? Have yourself married a bank account you want to keep at any price, even if he’s deadly boring, annoying, a couch-permanent-visa-resident, a bottle per day makes you grumpy away, or even worse, a champion at the ‘Who catches more women per square meter Olympics’ ? If this is your case, keep him, we don’t need, we are better off with our independent status.

Sad? You said we are sad? I bet you are kidding and you would love to be as sad as we are. Don’t mix everything up; one cannot be sad because the uninteresting guy is far away. On the contrary!

A couple of days ago an awkward creature told me I was sad and quoted one of my exs in the conversation (is ‘exs’ the plural of ex??) as if he had been the love of my life. I laughed my head off. First, it was mean of him but I was not surprised to read this ‘coz he was trying hard, second he was out of arguments and got it wrong. So, you’ll be very nice and forget about single mums being sad. No way!

Oh, you cannot go to the cinema if he’s not holding your hand in the dark? How touching… I almost feel my tears flooding my eyes. Are you 12? In this case, sorry but you are not entitled to have kids with him and we were talking about single MUMS. So, grow up and call me later 😉

Another stereotype which makes me laugh until I weep and I am sure so many of you heard ‘Oh, you are too beautiful, I don’t believe you are by yourself’. Such a cute guy you are, you really think so?? You are so wrong buddy, I am by myself I didn’t catch a lethal illness, so calm down I don’t need you around. Ah, you are interested if my children are old enough to desert the house over the weekend because you are not ready to meet them, not ready for a relationship, but you are so ready to ‘make me happy’? Chill out, I have no intention to marry you, I have no intention at all to see you in the next 30’’. I will definitely go out with friends and have a laugh rather than waste my precious time with you. Thanks for your offer, but no! I can’t believe there are still such nice guys out there, nice and helpful! And no, I don’t want to spend my night with you either, and rest assured I am not sad, it’s not the house style to cling to ‘nice’ guys like you. Actually I am a bit sad you could even imagine I would trade my children or my friends for you because you dare tell me I need some fun. With you??? Would you mind letting me decide with whom I would have fun? Thank you so much, I appreciate your gentleness.

‘You don’t want to feel more like a woman and share your time with a man you can cook for’ oooops! I cut him short, really short, I couldn’t help! Don’t look at me like a Spaniel, I like tough men not a plush instead of. And I looove cooking, for my kids ONLY! If you need a housekeeper, take the Yellow Pages, I can even send you the link 😉 it’s online by now! You have two hands, I noticed it when you tried to wrap them around me without my permission and you said afterwards I was a savage when I pushed you back with a deadly look. So you can use them, your two hands, to cook for yourself, clean your house, do your food shopping and do anything you want with!

Oh, I know my daughter is wonderful, I love her more than myself, but don’t you think obsessively looking at her cleavage and not only, in front of me, even if she’s 19, is far too tactless than your little unconnected brains would imagine? You didn’t know she was only 19? I am still not that bad, for you to think I’m 90. You’re kind of digging your tomb now, don’t you think? I’m not looking my age?? You become incoherent; you better go back where you come from. No, she doesn’t need a father, certainly not you! No, she will not sit on your lap, maybe one of my cats, you know, the one who’s so jealous that he’s ready to pee on you. Have a try 😉 just to show me how much you like me since I’m not convinced at all, so far.

Dear SIngle Mums, do you have other stories about ‘loving’ men looking for ‘casual safe sex’? (this formula just killed me!) And all this for the sake of seeing us, Single Mums, less sad :DDDDD

Love you all, Single Mums!

Dan

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